


Lines

by drkkn



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff, Oneshot, drakgo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 15:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1947033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drkkn/pseuds/drkkn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shego may have glowing, green hands and a job where attempting to take over the world is a weekly, and sometimes daily, occurrence, (not to mention her insane, evil genius boss) but even she has to deal with the annoying and untimely present received every month. [Longish oneshot, Rated T for the main topic.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lines

Dr. Drakken was working on his latest diabolical invention in his cavernous lab. He was so absorbed in his work that the ridiculous, purple goggles over his eyes were almost touching the device he was slaving over. His steady, slender fingers worked quickly, keeping up with his fast-paced train of thought as best as they could. He had been sitting in utter silence, alone, for several hours, and he had almost forgotten that anyone else was occupying the voluminous lair. He was soon brought back to reality, however, when an echoing yell cut through the sustained tranquility like a knife.

"DRAKKEN!"

He jumped up so high, he had to grab the lab bench to keep himself from toppling over his chair and onto the floor. As he regained his composure, his slight embarrassment at the startling sound was replaced by anger. What could it possibly be  _now_? Shego had been unusually catty, aggressive, and touchy for the past couple of days, and he couldn't seem to find the reason behind it. He had thought back to the start of this mood-change in his sidekick, and tried to recall any of the conversations he had had with her, in case it was something he had said that had upset her. Much to his disappointment, however, nothing, aside from the ordinary bickering, came to mind. Of course, he had said some snide remarks to come back from her even snider insults, but that was just the way they communicated on a daily basis: through rude and harsh mockery, and it never put her in this bad of a mood for too long, let alone for days. Well, almost never.

As he thought back, he almost wished it  _was_  something he had said that upset her; he'd been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale. But now…he didn't know what to think.

Even if he was frustrated with her, and maybe- not that he'd ever admit to it- a little afraid, he knew better than to neglect her call. He was walking out of the lab when her voice filled the lair again, but more desperate and forceful the second time. The change in her tone caused Drakken to go from following orders in fear of the consequences, to a growing concern for Shego. He pushed these uncomfortable feelings as far down as he could- if she knew he was worried about her, he'd never hear the end of it- but they quickly bubbled back up again when he discovered the source of the yelling to be the bathroom. He hesitated in making his presence known; he wasn't sure what exactly the social protocol was in a situation like this, let alone  _Shego's_  likely-to-be-complicated protocol. Should he knock? Or just enter? He quickly decided against walking in unannounced, as the creeping thought of Shego not having any- er… being indecent- flew across his mind. Drakken cringed and shook his head violently to get rid of the mental image that had formed so suddenly. As he rapped his knuckles on the door, he could hear some shuffling from inside the room, and see a shadow appear and disappear past the crack under the door, pacing nervously.

"Um...Sh- Shego?" his voice came out much hoarser and worried than he would've liked. The pacing and small signs of movement stopped immediately at his words, and there was a long, agonizing pause.

"...Dr. D?" came a shaky reply. "I uh...I need you t- you need to help me with s-something..." She sounded like she was trying to re-assert herself, but it wasn't working very well.

Drakken mistakenly took this as an invitation to enter, and was turning the silver doorknob when he heard her panicked voice say, "Don't come in!" He let go of the knob like it had spontaneously caught fire. As he waited for her to attack him, eyes squeezed closed and arms over his face expectantly, he fought the compulsion to slap his hand to his forehead, wondering how he could've been so stupid. But after several seconds ticked by, to his relief and surprise, no green plasma was hurled at his head.

He waited another moment before emerging from his protective stance and asked, "Er..Shego, are- are you alright?" This was becoming beyond bizarre; she  _never_  asks him for assistance. But if this thing, whatever it was, was so bad that she was putting aside her stubborn, independent pride, then she must be desperate. And what was so bad that he couldn't see it? They had seen each other at their most humiliating moments: being covered in cheese, losing all their hair due to electrocution, and not to mention that ridiculous, idiotic outfit from that stupid game show. So why the modesty?

"I'm fine, Doc." she said unconvincingly.

Behind the door, Shego was sitting on the edge of the large bathtub, pulling on her hair. The room was pretty large, equipped with the basic necessities of a restroom: a stainless-steel toilet, a sink to match, the onyx-black tub, and several cabinets- all of which were opened and ransacked recently. Rolls of toilet paper left their white trail all around the room, and various shampoo, conditioner, and soap bottles were scattered on the floor. But it wasn't the bottles or the toilet paper rolls that were the subject of Shego's panicked attention. Instead, it was the stack of little, empty, Tampax boxes that surrounded her feet. She picked one up hopelessly and gazed into it, already knowing what she would find: nothing. She mentally scolded herself for forgetting to stock up on such an important item; she  _knew_  she was forgetting something the last time she went shopping. And now, she was on her last one, needed to change it A.S.A.P, and had no means of doing so with her dignity still in tact. She growled, agitated, as her hands' lethal, green glow engulfed the box, and disintegrated it into ash. She watched the minuscule grains trickle through her fingers and onto the tiled floor. Of course, she had thought of every alternative and weighed every other option; anything that wouldn't require Drakken's involvement. But the other choices she had simply wouldn't have worked. She could sneak out of the lair for a quick Smarty Mart run, but she wasn't certain she could- um-  _make it_ , which could potentially make the situation even worse. She even debated ruining one of the towels that were lying next to the sinks, but that would bring up some questions she  _really_  didn't want to answer the next time they did the laundry.

She loathed this; beating around the bush, acting all jittery and nervous like some kind of melodramatic teen in high school. It wasn't like her at all. But, she'd never been comfortable with letting her boss think that she was- well, a woman. She'd rather let him think of her as his sidekick that kicks Kim Possible's sorry ass, with no emotions aside from anger and indifference, than for him to see her as a weak slave to her bodily-functions, just as everyone else is.

When Drakken had tried to open the door, she hadn't had a brief lapse of control because she was-  _naked_  or anything; she shuddered at the thought- nor was it the current state of his expensive bathroom. No, the real reason she didn't want him to see her right now, was something her employer has struggled with for who-knows-how-long: boundaries. Or rather, lack thereof. They had worked together for years now, spending almost every second of it either together, or in close proximity of each other, and Shego had picked up on every one of his quirks and social blind spots, as she was sure he had her. And this particular characteristic was definitely one of the many that vexed Shego to no end; the man had no filter whatsoever. He voiced almost every thought that crossed his mind, which also meant that he was always the first to bring up and turn attention to awkward topics. For this exact reason, she tried to set up the boundaries he wouldn't, or couldn't, have. But she soon discovered that the lines of division she drew to keep him at bay were, in his eyes, always crossable if he tried hard enough. This, however, was different. This time, it wasn't Drakken invading her comfort zone.  _She_  was the one crossing her  _own_  line.

However, she did take slight solace in that she was, technically, alone. When she was hidden from his prying eyes, she felt like she had more control over the circumstance than she actually did. The door served as a tangible barrier between them; she didn't have to worry about him studying her body language or looking at the mess on the floor and putting two and two together. He would only know what she wanted him to know, and she'd rather keep how truly desperate she was to herself.

"What do you need?" he asked. Shego cringed at the obvious concern in his careful tone; Why did he have to make everything such a bigger deal than it was? She sighed deeply, put her thin fingers to her forehead, and stood up to resume her pacing, but quickly recoiled as a sharp pain shot through her lower abdomen. She couldn't help but groan from the intense cramp, which could be easily heard from outside the bathroom.

"What was that? Are you hurt?" Drakken's hands hovered over the doorknob; He knew Shego didn't want him in there with her, but he also knew from the painful groans coming from inside, that something was wrong. "Shego I'm going to have to come in if you want help."

"No! It's nothing, just… give me a sec." As the pain turned into dull discomfort, she got up again, gingerly, and slowly made her way to the sink. She turned the blue handle over all the way, cupped her hands under the running faucet, and splashed her face with the icy seemed to help her forget about the cramps in her stomach, and focus on what needed to be done.

"Look, there's no use trying to get around what needs to be said, so I'm just gonna go for it, and I need you to not freak out on me, okay?" In the hallway, Drakken had froze at her words, his mind racing. When there was no response, Shego walked to the door, beginning to wonder if he left. "Hellooo? Dr. D?"

"Hmm? O-oh er- yes, I'm here." he said, being pulled out of his thoughts.

"Just- pay attention for once, okay. I am not saying this twice." she covered her eyes with her hand and took one last intake of air before blurting out,"I need tampons."

The tense silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever, and she knew that on the other side, his face had gone pale and his eyes grew wide. "Don't. Freak. Out." she warned again, stressing each syllable. She let her forehead fall onto the door as she waited for  _some_ kind of response- anything was better than the stunned quiet. After a full 30 seconds went by without any indication that he was still breathing, though, Shego began to feel agitated. "Dr. D!"

"I- I'm not f-freaking out…who's freaking out?" he whimpered in a small, husky voice. His head was swimming; why would she ask anyone to do this- especially her boss! It's not like he had any experience with this stuff! He never had any sisters, and hardly had any friends in his school years, let alone girlfriends. He did have his mother, but she never asked him to help her with her-  _ugh!_  

"Why do _I_ have to do this? You never help _me_ with _my_ problems." he whined, "Don't you have any-  _girlfriends_  you could call or something?"

Shego rolled her eyes, making a list of these so-called 'girlfriends': the teenage headache, DNAmy, and…Ms. Lipsky. The thought of asking any of them for a favor like this was both laughable and cringe-inducing.

"Oh yeah, Doc, let me just call up the brat and ask her. 'Hi Kimmie, It's Shego. You know, your arch-foe's sidekick. I was just wondering if you had any spare tampons?'" she recited, her sarcastic words coated with fake politeness.

" _Nngh!_  Stop saying that word!" He hissed.

"Look, all you need to do is make a quick run to Smarty Mart and buy me a box. Do you think you can handle that?" she mocked, hoping to get his ego to kick in.

"Wha- Of course I can handle it!" He exclaimed, crossing his arms defensively. "I _am_  an evil genius, after all!" She rolled her eyes again at this, but couldn't help but to give a small smile, as well. Most men would be disgusted and repulsed by the very request to take one step into the 'Feminine Care' aisle; but not Dr. D. Sure, he was a bit embarrassed and taken aback, but he was willing to help, nevertheless.

"Yeah, I know. Just make it snappy, okay, it's so boring in here."

"I'll take the hover car, so I should be back in approximately 15-20 minutes. But then again, the lines there are always so long…and it's always the same people holding up the 10 or less line! I mean how hard is it to-"

"Dr. D! Tampons. Need. Now."

"Fine, I'm going, I'm going! Sheesh!" He said as he walked back down the hall, headed for the garage.

* * *

 

Drakken had entered the large store hoping to find the-  _feminine hygiene_  aisle as quickly as possible, grabbing a box, and doing a speedy self-check out, with no embarrassment or loss of dignity involved. However, like always, his plan didn't exactly play out like he wanted it to.

As he approached the automatic doors, he could see the greeter that was handing out fliers and wishing every customer a "happy smarty mart shopping!" Usually he would pass right by the employee, but he soon realized that he would have to ask him where the right aisle was; otherwise, he'd be wandering around the gigantic emporium aimlessly for hours. He took a moment to muster up as much confidence he could, before walking up to the worker. Even so, he still couldn't bring himself to look into the man's face, so he stared at his name-tag instead.

"Hello. I need to know where your-"  _Francis Lurman_ it read.  _No_ , he thought,  _no, it can't be…!_

"Dr. Drakken? Is that you? Well, who would've thunk it; the great Dr. Drakken in my workplace! Gosh, I haven't seen you in ages! How ya been, cell-mate? Any great evil schemes lately? Well, you're probably doing better than I am; I haven't been able to do any evil since I busted out of jail. But I was able to get my old job back, so I can hardly compl-"

"Lucre!" Drakken smacked his hand to his head; of all the Smarty Mart workers here, he had to walk in on the shift of the single most obnoxious one.

"Oh, right, sorry. What can I do for you, sir?" he asked with a wink.

"I- uh- Where is your aisle with the, um… _women's products_?" he chose the latter words carefully, and whispered them to Lucre. Drakken expected him to laugh or even make fun of him, but the other villain just looked thoroughly confused.

"Women's products?" he repeated loudly, "You mean like dresses and lipstick and stuff?"

"No! And _shhh!_ " he quickly covered the man's mouth before the whole store knew what he was looking for. "Not _those_ kind of women's products…" When he got no response but a still befuddled stare, he elaborated. "You know… for- er- monthly occurrences." After a couple of seconds of thinking about what he was saying, Lucre's eyes went wide and Drakken knew they were both on the same page. He let go of him and looked around for any witnesses. There was one cashier that was watching him curiously from afar, but quickly turned her eyes away when she saw him looking at her.

"Ooooh, I gotcha! The side-kick's got you running errands for her now, has she?" he asked slyly.

"No! I mean- well- no. It's for- um- a uh… plot! A plot to conquer the world!" he announced, proud of his rapid thinking. "But it's top secret, so I can't disclose on any details." he covered up quickly. The other man seemed to light up at the mention of one of his future, infamous schemes.

"Oh yes, of course! The brilliant Dr. Drakken shopping for a mere side-kick, what was I thinking!" Drakken laughed nervously at this, but Lucre was too busy leading the way to the aisle to notice.

After many twists and turns, and a very talkative and giddy Lucre gushing on and on about how great his evil plans were and how excited he was to be of assistance, they finally arrived. And much to Drakken's increasingly painful migraine's relief, he mentioned that he needed to get back to work.

"Great! You get back to work, don't let me keep you, I'll be here…" he said, pushing his ex-cellmate around the corner, waving goodbye with blatantly fake disappointment. Once he was out of sight, Drakken scurried back to the right section, and scanned the area for any other customers who could see him. There was nobody around at the time, but he knew that could change any minute; so he decided to pick up the first box he saw and get the hell out of dodge. But that was before he actually saw the aisle fully. His mouth hung open, stunned by the plethora of packages and boxes in every different size and color known to man. The rows upon rows that surrounded him made his head spin, drowning in a sea of women's hygiene products. Once he got enough sense back to actually start looking, he was overwhelmed with confusion and bombarded with questions; How many does she need? How often does she change them? Every hour? Every day? What size does she need? Or does she want pads? If so, with wings or without? And why do they even need wings? Wait, what _are_ wings? Why does it not say anything on the box?

He suddenly remembered that she had specifically asked for _tampons_ just as he cautiously picked up a big pack of maxi-pads. He promptly dropped the package clumsily, causing quite a bit of commotion. The familiar tingle of embarrassment shot up through his body; he could feel his cheeks flush against his will as he mentally scolded himself for letting his emotions have such control over him. He fumbled with getting the pack back to it's shelf again, but eventually got it and briskly walked away.

Down the aisle a bit more, a row of small blue boxes caught his eye. He breathed a sigh of relief for finding the tampon section, but tensed up again when he realized there were still a lot of options to choose from. _Tampax pearl_? How are those different from the rest? Or maybe she wants the ones for sports…her job does require quite a bit of agility and mobility, after all. He picked up and carried the pink sports box in his arms as he examined the others. After several minutes of careful selection, he ended up choosing, along with the sports one, a rather generic looking box, and one of the fancier, more expensive ones.

Just as he was leaving the section, trying to remember the path back to the front of the store, he passed the candy and sweets section. He stopped, remembering something he saw in a movie; whenever women were on their- during their time of the month, they liked to eat chocolate. He knew it was risky; she could take the gesture the wrong way. But, he decided to take the risk, seeing as it gave him an excuse to buy a box for himself as well. He picked up two of the most expensive boxes, and walked briskly to the check-out, covering the three boxes of tampons in his arms as best he could with the chocolates.

Once he got to the self-checkout machines, however, luck, yet again, proved to be against him. All three had a sheet of paper taped onto the monitor, with big letters written in sharpie reading 'Out Of Order'. Drakken groaned and trudged over to the next line. He had always hated cashiers, and even more so after he turned blue and started in the villainy business. He despised the feeling that they were constantly judging him based on his purchases, especially if it was a bratty teenager. So, it goes without saying that when he saw that his cashier was a young girl, around the same age as Kim Possible, he wasn't exactly thrilled.

When it was his turn, he fully expected a snide comment about the combination of tampons and chocolate, or at least a small giggle. However the girl said nothing, acting like she saw men buying these items hundreds of times a day. Despite still feeling overly self-conscious, and probably showing it too, the teen's calm demeanor had a relaxing effect on him. She smiled warmly at him as she bagged the boxes, and as he turned to leave, he heard a small voice call after him, "Lucky lady." He whipped around, gaping at her a while before replying with his own goofy grin.

No sooner had he taken one step out of the store when he felt a weight the size of an anvil lift off his shoulders. How Shego managed to do this on a _monthly_ basis, he would never know. In fact, he had never really thought of her in this way; obviously he knew all women go through menstruation cycles, and he knew Shego was a woman. But even so…it was as if he hadn't, or perhaps he didn't _want_ to, put two and two together, until today. But now that he was forced to open his eyes, he was inadvertently glad. She felt more human now; it comforted him to know that even _she_ isn't immune to everything. Yes, even the one villainess to ever be equal in skill and strength to Kim Possible, has to deal with the irritations of everyday life. It was also obvious that while he felt better about this newly acquired territory, she was very uncomfortable with it. He knew her well enough to know that she probably thought of this as a weakness. She usually tried to cover up these things, refusing to let her guard down for anything. But this one time- this one desperate and dire time- she let him cross over her lines. She trusted him enough to _let_ him take a step into her boundaries, instead of his usual disregard of the lines and plunging right into what he wanted to say or do. And maybe- just maybe- she asked him to run this intimate errand because she knew he wasn't afraid of the walls she surrounded herself with. Maybe when he tore them down, persevering despite the continuous rebuilding, she was reminded that she was never, in fact, alone.

* * *

 

Shego had gone from pacing, to sitting on the marble-top counter, and finally to lying down in the bathtub, before making a full circle and getting up to pace again. There was no clock in the room, but it was still light out before he left, and the sun was just beginning to set. She was sure he was gone for at least 45 minutes, possibly even an hour. Her mind began to wander, thinking of what he could possibly be doing to take this long. Did he not realize how badly she needed those stupid tampons? Did he not realize how hard she was going to hit him if he didn't get back here soon? She clenched her fists and gritted her teeth, _15 to 20 minutes my ass_ ,she thought, scoffing, _Why am I even surprised?_

Just as she was about to make a dash for her phone on the kitchen counter, she heard the muffled motor of the hover car pulling into the garage. She moved swiftly to the door, eager to confront him for his tardiness. She could hear his soft footsteps as he approached, along with the crinkling of plastic bags by his side.

"Shego, I'm back. Are you still in there?"

"What, you just decided to take the scenic route?" she tested angrily. He heard the annoyance in her voice and immediately went into defense mode.

"What? No! It just took longer than I thought it would, okay! There were so many brands and different types and Lucre was there…" He tried to explain, slightly offended. He had just done her a huge favor, and this is how she expresses her gratitude? Why couldn't she just say thank you for once?

"I don't care, Doc. It's been a long day, and I just want to go to bed. Did you get the stuff?" She sighed heavily, deciding that she was far from being in the mood to listen to him complain and rant about the traffic and long check-out lines.

"Er- yes. I- I didn't know which kind to get you, though, so I just- I got three boxes." He said lamely, realizing too late that three was going a little overboard.

"Geez Dr. D, It's a period not an amputation wound." She smiled maliciously when she heard his irked _Nnngh!_ in response.

"Oh yeah! Well I didn't have to do it, you know! I could've just let you sit in there and figure out a solution on your own." he pouted. She knew he had a point, and begrudgingly admitted to herself that this situation was just as hard on him as it was on her. And on the plus side, he did manage to pull through with more than enough, even if it was late. She decided to put the mockery and anger on pause until tomorrow; her bed was calling her name, and she needed to get away from her boss for a while.

"I know." she said softly after a pause. The words sounded almost appreciative, and Drakken, for the millionth time that day, it seemed, was left trying to figure out what the hell happened. A second ago, she was about to throw a glowing hand through the drywall, just for being late. Now, she was basically saying 'Thank you', even if it was in her own, vague way. _Yeesh_ , he thought, _Women…_

After another long pause, Drakken cleared his throat. "I- uh, I'll leave the bag in front of the door." He took her silence as an 'Okay.' and let the supplies down on the floor. Shego heard the bag being set down, followed by his steps retreating down the hall, back toward the lab.

After waiting to make sure he was definitely gone, she slowly opened the door a crack, reached her arm down, and yanked the bag in. She inspected the different boxes he bought, and breathed a sigh of relief when she found that he had happened to pick out her usual kind. As she picked through the items, she found a fourth box at the bottom, but it didn't look like any tampon box she'd ever seen before. It was fairly large, rectangular, and brown; definitely not tampons. She pulled it out curiously, and saw several pieces of chocolate on the front label. Her lips curled into a smile, wondering how he knew exactly what she had been craving since the beginning of the cycle. As she opened the box and popped a particularly large sweet into her mouth, she made a mental note to _maybe_ hold back on the sarcastic comments this week. _Maybe_.


End file.
